Embracing Love (Once Broken Book 1) Read online

  “Yes, ma’am,” is all I say, not wanting to upset her. I find Emily in the kitchen cleaning up. “Is it me or does Nana seem really tired today?”

  “She told me she didn’t sleep well last night, but didn’t say what was wrong.” She shakes her head. “She may not remember.”

  “I’m going to go sit with her,” I tell Emily, but when I get out there I find her asleep in her chair. It’s funny how neither of us slept well last night. I plop down on the couch to watch some TV while she sleeps, but my eyelids are just too heavy.

  “Hey, Remy. How was your day?” I ask, kissing my man on his soft lips.

  “It was okay, but I have some bad news.”

  “What’s wrong, love?” I ask, full of concern.

  “They’re shipping me out. It’s supposed to be a brief mission, but I could be gone for up to six months depending on what happens when I get over there.”

  “Over there?” I question. “You mean overseas. You promised me you were done with these crazy missions. You told me they transferred you to keep you home.”

  “Sweet pea, they will tell me whatever it is they think I want to hear to keep me in. I don’t have much time left until I retire. I can’t just walk away now,” he pleads with me but it doesn’t help I’m still bitter as all hell that he’s leaving me.

  “When are you shipping out?”

  “Tomorrow,” he says, preparing himself for my rampage, but it never comes.

  “Well, you better get packing then.” I walk off into the house to make our dinner. I’ve got to do something to turn this night around. I can’t let him leave with us being on bad terms.

  I see him run up the stairs to pack his things, and a lone tear escapes me. I silently pray that he comes home quickly and safely. I’m so deep in thought I hadn’t noticed him come up behind me, startling me when he wraps his arms around my waist. “Please don’t be mad at me, sweet pea. I can’t leave knowing you’re mad at me.”

  “I’m not mad. I’m scared.”

  I jump up from the couch and take a deep breath. Lord help me, I’m dreaming about him now.

  “What’s wrong?” Nana asks, still sitting in the chair beside me.

  “Oh nothing, Nana, I’m fine,” I tell her.

  “You’re full of shit, is what you are. You jumped up from that couch like the house was on fire. Now you tell me what’s wrong, young lady.”

  I crack up laughing. My nana is one funny lady, and she certainly doesn’t hold back.

  “Why don’t we go sit on the porch swing and get some air?”

  “That’s a good idea.” I help her stand and we walk out the door with Nana holding onto my arm. We sit together on the swing, and I lightly push us back and forth with my feet.

  “Now what was that jumping around all about in there?” Nana asks, slapping me on the leg.

  I look around to make sure no one else is listening, then stare straight ahead, unable to look her in the eye. “There’s this guy I like, and he really likes me.”

  “That’s great, so what’s the problem?”

  “He’s in the Army,” I say, like it should all make sense to her.

  “Your father and grandfather were both in the Army, Joanne. You should be proud to date a man serving our country.”

  “I am proud of him, but I’m scared too. What if he gets deployed and has to go fight in the war? What if he gets hurt? What happens to us when he leaves and I’m stuck here by myself?” I pause for a second trying to gather my thoughts. “How many nights did you lay awake crying at night, scared and lonely because you hadn’t heard a word?”

  “Too many to count.” Her voice grows soft.

  “I’m not sure I can do it, Nana.”

  “You’re giving up on something before you’ve even given it a shot.”

  “Maybe, but I don’t know how to get past this fear I have of being alone, or of falling for him and then losing him, the way you and mom did.” I sigh. “I guess I need to put a little more thought into this before going on any more dates with him.”

  Nana says nothing more. We both just sit on the swing rocking back and forth, watching the kids ride by on their bikes. It’s a breezy night so the trees are blowing, and the birds are chirping. It’s peaceful, a little too peaceful. I can’t get out of my own head, and for a second, I wonder what is going through Nana’s head.

  “What are you thinking, Nana?”

  She looks over at me and smiles. “I’m thinking about the day you were born. I was so proud of my Joanne.” I smile as she goes back to realizing I’m me. “You were a struggle to deliver, Kenzie, but your mama pushed and pushed, and your father came running into the room, still in his uniform, just in time to see you delivered.” She chuckles. “Your mama swore you were being stubborn, holding out for your father to get there.”

  I smile at the glow on her face as she recalls the memory. “You were a handful when you were small, but you turned out all right. I’m proud of you.” She pats me on the leg.

  “Thanks, Nana.” I put my arm around her shoulder, hugging her tight. We’re once again sitting in silence, left to nothing but our own thoughts. My mind drifts to the day my mom’s heart was forever broken.

  The doorbell rings and I shout, “I’ve got it, Mama. It’s probably Jenny coming over to play.” I open the door full of excitement, ready to see my friend, but instead there are two men standing on the porch in dress uniforms just like my daddy’s. “Mama, you need to come here. There are two men on the porch.” My mama comes running into the room, but stops short when she sees who’s at the door.

  “Can I help you?” she asks, her voice low and wary.

  “Ma’am, I’m Sergeant First Class Baker, and this is Captain Sloan. May we come in?”

  She pushes the door open, and the two men walk in. “Can I get you something to drink?” she asks them.

  “No, ma’am, we’re fine, thank you, but I do think we should sit to talk if that’s okay,” Sergeant First Class Baker says.

  I take Mama’s hand, and we lead them into our living room where I take a seat on her lap. I’m really kind of big to be sitting on her, but I feel like she needs me so she can stay strong, so I go with it.

  “Is there somewhere your daughter can go while we talk?”

  I begin to walk away but Mama says, “No, sir, we are family, and we will go through this together.” She looks at me and I give her a nod and a warm smile.

  SFC Baker nods before taking a deep breath, then says, “Ma’am, there’s no easy way for us to say this. I’m sorry, but your husband was wounded in action. The medics did everything they could to save him, but they were unsuccessful.”

  Mama’s entire body begins to shake as she squeezes me close. Tears are running down our faces as we take in the horrible news. She’s breathing heavy, and she starts shaking her head. “No, this can’t be. No…” she trails off. “I just spoke to him two days ago.”

  “I’m so sorry, ma’am, but it’s true. Is there someone we can call for you?”

  I snuggle into my mom’s chest and sob.

  Shaking my head I snap out of the horrible memory, a lone tear running down my cheek. It’s a day I’ll never forget, although sometimes I wish I could. The pain my mama suffered that day was unbearable. The gentleman tried to encourage her that I not be present for the conversation, but Mama wouldn’t hear of it. I feel like she knew and wanted me to hear the news with her. I don’t know why. Maybe she felt she wouldn’t be able to tell me herself, but we both lost a piece of ourselves that day.

  Chapter 13

  Remy

  The block party is finally here, and the preparations are underway. The entire neighborhood has begun putting things together to make today a huge success. The three houses at the end of the cul-de-sac all have different bounce houses set up for the kids to jump in. At the opposite end of the street, there will be cornhole and can jam, set up along with other adult games I’m sure. Our house is in the middle of our long street, and since Mama organize
s the party, the majority of the food is set up there, and people come by whenever they’re ready to eat. Tables are being delivered along with a few grills that my father will use to ensure there’s hot food available most of the night, and all the neighbors will be delivering side dishes throughout the day. There won’t be one bit of southern goodness missing from this event. Mr. and Mrs. Henderson live beside us, and the section of their yard that joins ours will have all the desserts out. There will be everything from fruit salad to peach cobbler and pecan pie. A man could really get himself in trouble at that table.

  I sigh in frustration. At this point, I couldn’t care less. I haven’t spoken to Kenzie since the morning I left her house worried about her. She hasn’t even been out for our morning run, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t show up today either. I try to shrug it off as maybe she’s just not the girl for me, but I can’t get her out of my head. Even my focus at work has been off.

  “Remy, can you go with your father to get some ice please?” Mama asks, bringing me back to the present as my father walks up behind me.

  “Yeah, I guess so.” I stand from my seat on the porch and follow my father to his car.

  As soon as he shifts the car into drive he says, “Spill it.”

  “Spill what?” I try to play dumb, but of course, it won’t work.

  “Remy, you’ve been a mess all week, moping around like you lost your puppy.”

  “I haven’t been that bad,” I say in my defense.

  When he pulls up to the stoplight, he glances over at me with his brows raised. The look screams bullshit.

  I sigh. “I went on a few dates with Kenzie and things were going so well, now she won’t talk to me. She keeps telling me she has concerns but won’t tell me what they are.” I sigh again and say, “She hasn’t even been meeting me for our morning run. I just wish she would at least talk to me, tell me what the issue is so I can try to work it out with her. To make matters even worse, her ex-boyfriend is in town trying to win her back.”

  “How do you know about her ex?”

  “I got to her house to pick her up for a date, and he was there. Tried puffing out his chest to look like a big guy, but dude has nothing on me.” I chuckle. “Anyway, she says she wants nothing to do with the guy, but now I wonder, since she’s not talking to me.”

  “I don’t know what to say, son. Maybe you just need to give her a little space to straighten things out in her head.” He slaps my knee. “I’m sure she’ll talk to you when she’s ready.”

  All conversation ceases as we pull up to the ice company. We come straight to this company every year for the block party, because we need so much ice and they give us a good deal. My father pulls a bunch of coolers from the car, and I run in to let the guy know we’re here. He comes out with a hand truck loaded with bags and bags of ice for us to fit as much as we can into all the coolers. Once our coolers are all full, he says, “Here, take this too.” He gives us another huge foam cooler filled with ice. We pack it all into the car, pay the man, and get back home to pour the ice over beverages and such.

  When we arrive, it’s almost as if the street has been transformed. There’s a huge banner up that says, ‘Welcome Home, Remy!’ I growl as soon as I see it.

  “Easy, Remy. Your mama is very proud of you. We all are. She has dedicated this to you, and as much as you hate the attention, I think you can give her one afternoon after all the years of worry you put her through.”

  I sigh in defeat. “I know, and I’m sorry you guys had to spend so much time worrying about me, but I have zero regrets when it comes to my career.”

  “Good, that’s the way it should be. Now help me unload this ice.”

  I shake my head as I climb out of the car to help my father.

  Brooke comes running over. “Do you like your sign?”

  I close my eyes for just a second, then say, “I love it.” She hugs me and runs off, excited to talk with some neighbors who are all set up. I swear, sometimes my sister is still a teenager. The kids are already jumping in the bounce house, there’s a face painting station set up, and the DJ is setting up some speakers to play music. This event runs well into the night, and eventually the volume is turned down, but the party continues on.

  My brothers both come over to say hi with poor Kayla waddling behind them. She’s due any time now, and I can see she’s had enough. “Hey, bro,” I say to Dawson, giving him a quick hug, then I give her one and ask, “Where’s Becky?”

  She nods toward the bounce house. “Jumping, of course. She’ll be in there until she’s ready to pass out.” We all set up lawn chairs on my parents’ front lawn, and take a seat watching things go on around us.

  A short time later the DJ, a friend of mine named Colby, finally has his stuff set up and ready to go. He comes over the mic and says, “Welcome to the block party, everyone! Y’all ready to have some fun?” Everyone begins to scream and shout. Neighbors from blocks over are starting to make their way to the end-of-summer party. Colby says, “Now, I know someone won’t be happy about this, because we’ve been friends for years and I know the man pretty darn well, but I have to say it, anyway. Welcome home, Remy man, it’s good to have you here.” Everyone again starts cheering, and I give him a nod. He puts the mic down and starts playing some music. The guy is good. He will play a little of everything to keep everyone, young and old, happy.

  I’m scanning for Kenzie, when I ask Keaton, “Hey, are you still seeing Lilly?”

  “Yeah, aren’t you seeing Kenzie?”

  I shrug. “I don’t know, man. She got pissed at me because I went to her house to check on her when she didn’t show up for our run, and we haven’t spoken since.”

  “Wow that sucks. Lilly hasn’t said anything to me about it.”

  “Nah, I’m sure she’s not going to either. Are they still coming?”

  “As far as I know. Lilly told me she’d see me here.” I nod, and as we finish talking, I hear her before I see her. I turn my head toward the sound of her beautiful laugh, and there she is, walking up the street with Lilly. They’re both carrying some bags with a ton of stuff in them. We both jump up and run over to help them out. Keaton takes Lilly’s bags, and she gives him a kiss. It’s an awkward moment as I take the bag from Kenzie, but no longer feel I have the right to kiss her.

  “Thanks, Remy.” She continues up to the house with Keaton and Lilly. I close my eyes and stretch my neck as I try to control my frustration. I still don’t fully understand what she’s so upset about. I jog to catch up to them handing the bag of food over to Mama, who is busy putting things out. Kenzie hugs Mama and says hello before walking off to go visit with other people.

  Mama gives me a questioning look. I shrug. “I have no idea.”

  “You best not hurt that girl, Remington Scott Bennett,” she says angrily.

  “I swear, Mama, I have no idea why she’s mad at me. She won’t even talk to me.” Keaton laughs at me, and Mama once again smacks the back of his head.

  “I see nothing funny here,” she says.

  “Sorry, Mama.” He takes Lilly’s hand and walks off.

  “You go figure things out with that girl, now you hear?” She points a serving spoon at me.

  I take a deep breath. “Yes, ma’am.” I walk away frustrated because now my mother’s angry too. This is getting ridiculous.

  I’ve spent the last few hours mingling with people as I try to find Kenzie. I swear she’s avoiding me, but if she won’t talk to me after tonight, then I’m done. I’m telling Mama I tried, but I give up. This woman is driving me crazy with her silent treatment.

  I finish talking to my buddy Vaughn, and when I turn, I see her leaning against a fence observing the events taking place around her. I grin as I go into stealth mode to sneak up on her, not because I want to scare her, but because I don’t want her to take off again. I got close earlier, and as soon as she saw me approaching she walked away to talk with someone.

  I step up alongside her. “Why are you avo
iding me?” I question, stepping even closer so close my body is practically pinning hers to the fence.

  She looks up into my eyes and says, “Because I don’t want to talk.”

  “Why not? I thought things were going well between us?”

  “Maybe I just don’t like you like that,” Her voice is totally shaken up. Her breathing has changed, and she keeps shifting her weight. This woman forgets observation is my job. Does she really think I won’t catch her lying to me?

  “I call bullshit. Our date went fine. We laughed and had a great time, even our chemistry is amazing and now all of a sudden you won’t talk to me.” She looks to the ground. “At least tell me the truth. Don’t feed me some line of shit.” I step back for a second. “Is this about Daniel?” My brows furrow in anger. I saw him walking around this block party as if invited. It pisses me off, but I won’t dare embarrass my mama by approaching him or causing trouble.

  Her eyes shoot back up to mine. “What? No, of course not. Come on, Remy, you know it’s bad timing for me with Nana being sick.”

  “You’re telling me all this is about your nana? We had a great time and a ton of fun, and now you don’t like me because of your nana?” I ask with my brows raised.

  “I have a lot on my plate. School starts Monday, and I still have to find time to help with her, and she’s so up and down. It’s like she’s getting worse every day.” She’s staring down at her feet.

  I know she’s lying to me, because she can’t even look at me. She’s been looking down at the ground during her entire explanation. I can’t take it anymore. I grab her chin forcing her to look me in the eye, lick my lips, and say, “I’ll tell you what. You keep lying to yourself. When you can face reality and you’re ready to tell me what’s really bothering you, come see me and I’ll help you through it.” I press a kiss to her forehead and walk away, not waiting for her response.

  “Remy,” she calls out on the verge of tears, but I keep walking. I need her to know I’m serious. She can’t keep lying to me about what’s bothering her, and at this point, I’m not sure I can trust her to tell me when things are bothering her in the future, and that’s a huge problem for me. I grab a beer and down half of it, plopping myself into a chair. I glance over to see Daniel trying to talk to Kenzie. It makes my blood boil. I want to go over there and tell the little piece of shit to piss off.