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  Copyright © 2018 Hustle and Heart by Alison Mello

  All rights reserved. Except as permitted by U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without prior permission of the author.

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  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, establishments, or organizations, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously to give a sense of authenticity. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. Hustle and Heart by Alison Mello is intended for 18+ older, and for mature audiences only.

  Editing and Formatting by Masque of the Red Pen

  Cover Design by Moonstruck Cover Design and Photography

  TABLE of CONTENTS

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Prologue

  One

  Two

  Three

  Four

  Five

  Six

  Seven

  Eight

  Nine

  Ten

  Eleven

  Twelve

  Thirteen

  Fourteen

  Fifteen

  Sixteen

  Seventeen

  Eighteen

  Nineteen

  Twenty

  Twenty-one

  Twenty-two

  Twenty-three

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgments

  This book is dedicated to the mom squad of Dartmouth Indians football, you know who you are. I walked into that league knowing very few people, and Michelle was sweet enough to introduce herself and her friend, Tricia. We quickly became friends, adding Jenn and Dawn to the mix. You made the season a blast, and I miss you ladies more than you know.

  To my street team. The crew lives on in this book. You represent a group of women who made the football season memorable. Many of nights we, the mom squad, froze our asses off waiting for practice to end, but we didn’t care. We were dedicated to our boys and made sure we were always there to support them. Just as you ladies are dedicated to me and are constantly there for me. I love you ladies to the moon and back. Thank you again for all you do for me.

  “Daddy, when are you coming home?” My little girl’s sweet voice almost breaks me.

  I sigh into the phone. “I’ll be home tomorrow, baby girl. I promise.”

  “Are you coming home for good? I don’t want you to go away anymore.”

  “I know, Grace, and I promise you Daddy is done. I'll be home for good.”

  I joined the Army straight out of high school, proud to serve my country. I went to college to be an engineer while I was in, determined to become an officer, so I’d be able to take better care of my family. I chose a career that I would be able to continue after I was discharged knowing I’d never see military retirement.

  Della was my high school sweetheart. We married at nineteen-years-old and by twenty-one we had our first child, Gabe. I was so proud when I watched my son be born over live feed. I wanted to be there, but duty called, and I just couldn’t get away.

  A little over three years later she brought Grace into our lives. We had it all. A wonderful house in our hometown, two beautiful children, I had made Captain, and she had my mom helping her with the kids.

  “Daddy…Are you there?” Grace shouts into the phone, pulling me from my thoughts.

  “Yeah, I’m here, baby girl.”

  “Gabe wants to talk to you,” she demands.

  “Okay, put him on.” She shouts to her brother. It makes me chuckle because sometimes she acts like his mama.

  “Hey, Dad. Is it true? Are you really coming home for good?” My son’s voice is so full of hope, I’m glad I don’t have to let him down.

  “Yeah, buddy, I’ll be home tomorrow.” Gabe just turned ten, and he’s a great kid. I can’t wait to process out and get home. “How are you doing, son?”

  “I’m okay. I just want you to hurry up and get home.”

  “I know. I’ll be walking in the door by noon tomorrow.”

  “Cool. See you then, Dad.”

  “Let me talk to Grammy.”

  “Sure.” I hear his heavy feet as he runs across the house like a herd of elephants. “Grammy, it’s Dad.”

  “Thanks, sweet boy.” I imagine my mom patting Gabe on the head as she takes the phone. She adores every second with her grandkids, and I’m blessed beyond measure that she’s been there to help raise the kids.

  “Yes, Jesse.”

  “Hi, Mom. I wanted to check in and see how the kids are really holding up?”

  “I think they’re going to be just fine.” My kids giggle in the background, telling me she’s not going to spill anything right now. I can’t wait to get home and squeeze both my kids so tight. We have some transitioning to do, but I know my kids are strong and we’ll get through this together.

  “Thanks for being there, Mom.”

  “Any time, Jesse. Now you go finish what you have to do for work so you can get back here.”

  “Yes, ma’am. See you tomorrow.” I cut the call.

  The cab pulls up outside my mama’s house about three hours ahead of schedule. I’m thrilled because no one is expecting me this early. My arrival is a total surprise. I lift the pot on the porch to find the same key still sitting there. It’s been there since I was a young boy. It was the key we used if we ever locked ourselves out. The funny thing is I tried to tell Mom to stop doing that. Times have changed, and you can’t just leave a key on the stoop anymore, but she won’t listen. She says if someone is going to take her stuff, they need it more than she does, and the key prevents them from damaging her home. I roll my eyes and shake my head.

  Letting out a deep breath, I open the door to Mom’s house and step inside. It’s about nine in the morning and my kids have always been early risers, so I know they’ll be up. The door is barely closed before my children round the corner running at me.

  “Daddy!” Grace shouts, leaping into my arms. I’m thrilled to hold my daughter once again. I haven’t been home since we lost Della. It feels like it’s been forever. It killed me to leave them, but I had no choice. I had a contract to fulfill.

  My son wraps me in a hug and says, “Welcome home, Dad.”

  “I’m so happy to see you two.” I squat down but continue to hold my kids close.

  “Come on. Grammy is making us breakfast.” Grace takes my arm and drags me toward the kitchen where my mom is hard at it with tears running down her cheeks.

  “Mom, are you okay?” I wrap her in a hug.

  She squeezes me tight. “I’m so glad you’re home.”

  “Me too, Mom, me too.”

  It takes her a moment, but when reality hits that I’m really home and not going anywhere, she pulls away and continues making breakfast like it’s any other morning. Mom has been one tough cookie, and today’s no exception.

  “I’m glad I got my flight bumped up. I’m starving, and this smells so good.” I take a seat between my kids as my mom lays out plates of food.

  “Well, you eat up now, ya hear. You are far too thin from being away from home, but don’t you worry. I’ll take care of that.”

  I wink at my daughter. “Mom, I’m thin because I watch what I eat and I work out. Not because I was away.”

  “Mmmmhmmm…” She gives me a look that tells me I need to be quiet and eat up.

  I chuc
kle. I may be thirty-one-years-old, but I know better than to sass my mom. She has no problem putting her kids in their place, and despite the fact that I’m her pride and joy, I’m no exception.

  I’ve spent the last two hours pacing the living room waiting for Brian to come home yet again. This is a common theme in our house lately. He gets up, goes to work, and on the way out he tells me not to wait up because he’s working late. It’s now two in the morning. There’s nothing that pressing that an IT manager needs to be working at two am. Not to mention, he’s not even working in the field anymore. He hasn’t been for years.

  He finally steps through the door, and once again he smells of perfume. “Where were you?” I ask Brian, my husband. Christ, he’s not even near me yet and I can smell her.

  “None of your business!” he growls at me.

  Crossing my arms over my chest, I snarl, “The hell it ain’t! We’ve been married twelve goddamn years, and we have a son. Are you even thinking about us while you’re out doing god knows what?”

  He stops and turns to me. “You know, actually I’m not.”

  My jaw drops. I can’t believe he just said that to me. At one point in life he was my best friend, my everything, and now it’s like I don’t even know the man. “You don’t mean that.” My words are barely a whisper.

  “Karen, I can’t do this anymore. I care about you and Jason, but I’m not happy. I’ve been seeing someone else, and I think it’s time we both move on.” My eyes go wide. He just said that like we’ve been dating a month and it’s not working out between us.

  “You want to throw a twelve-year marriage away for some tramp? What about our son?”

  He shrugs. “What about him? I’ll still see him. I think Melinda...”

  “Melinda!” I interrupt him. “You’re screwing your fucking secretary? Are you serious right now?”

  “You had to see this coming. I haven’t touched you in six months. We haven’t had sex in eight to ten months. Please tell me you’re not that blind?” He takes his suit jacket off and lays it over the back of the couch. When they promoted him to manager to oversee the field guys, he had to start wearing suits to work for when he would interact with clients.

  “Get out of my house.” I point to the door.

  He laughs. “This is my house. I pay the bills here.”

  “You may be the breadwinner but don’t act like I don’t work and contribute to this house.” He laughs maniacally, and I narrow my eyes at him. “I won’t allow you to throw us out on the street. You know damn well I’ll fight you to my death to keep Jason here. You’re leaving us. The least you can do is allow our son to stay in the house he was raised in.”

  “I don’t have to do anything.” He steps closer to me. The look in his eyes oozes rage. I’ve never seen him so angry. “But I’ll tell you what. I have a reputation to uphold and seeing how ninety percent of my work is around this area, I’ll allow you to stay here for now.” He walks past me toward our room.

  I’m trembling when I storm off to the kitchen to make some tea. I don’t know what to say to him. I feel broken inside, and I need to figure out how I’m going to pull my life together. He’s right. I was a fool. I was blind. I should’ve seen this coming, and instead of preparing for it, I pretended it wasn’t happening. Now he’s leaving us, and I have to figure out what to do.

  Jason comes into the kitchen rubbing his eyes, trying to hide the tears. He’s clearly overheard us. The kid is ten-years-old, he’s no fool. Shit, his father didn’t make one ball game. Not one and here I was making excuses for him. It was always ‘he has to work late’, ‘he’s with a client’, or whatever other excuse I could come up with so Jason wouldn’t be upset and could focus on the game. “Come here, sweetie.” He runs into my arms, and I wrap him in a hug.

  “Is he leaving, Mom?”

  “I’m not really sure, bud. He says he’s just not happy here with me anymore.”

  “Sure, make me look like the bad guy,” Brian says from the doorway with his luggage in tow.

  I put my hand on my hip and with sass I say, “Fine, you tell him.”

  Brian narrows his eyes at me. “Listen, Jason.” He sighs. “This isn’t easy to explain, and I’m sure it’s even more difficult for you to understand. Sometimes when two people have been together for as long as your mom and I have, they stop getting along. You did nothing wrong, buddy. I want you to behave for your mom, and I’ll come visit you as soon as I can.” Jason shakes his head angrily and runs from the room.

  “If you think he buys that, you’re crazy. He’s heard us argue, and he’s not a baby. He just heard you tell me you have a girlfriend.”

  He throws his hands up. “What was I supposed to do, not get laid?” he growls at me.

  “I’m not the one who wanted this. It was your decision to run off and bang your secretary. You’re the one who started skipping out, so don’t sit here and act like this is my fault.”

  “Fuck this. I’m going to Melinda’s. Tell Jason he can call me on my cell.” He grabs the two large rolling suitcases he threw together while I was talking to Jason and heads for the door. He stops just before slamming it and says, “You’ll hear from my lawyer.”

  “And you’ll be hearing from mine,” I shout to a closed door.

  I’m shaking and panting with anger. I can’t believe he just did this to us. I wipe the tears that have escaped down my cheeks and exhale a deep breath. I need to get some sleep. Locking up, I head to my room. I’m exhausted, and I have to work in the morning. I’m hoping Jason gets some sleep too because he has camp.

  I climb into our bed with the scent of Brian taking over my senses. I quietly sob into my pillow with so many emotions running through me. Anger at both him and myself for not seeing this sooner. Saddened that my son has an ass for a father, I continue to cry until I finally fall into a restless sleep.

  One Year Later

  “Mom, we have to get our helmets tonight,” Jason calls from the other room.

  I’m not sure what I was thinking letting this kid play football. There’s a lot on my plate since his father up and left us, but I just couldn’t say no. He couldn’t wait to call Brian and tell him he was playing. Of course Brian told him he would give me the money I needed for his gear, but that he wouldn’t be able to make practices and probably very few games. He’s such a great kid and never asks for anything. With Brian paying for everything, I couldn’t deny him this. “I know, Jason, we’ll leave in five minutes.”

  He comes running into the room. “DJ just sent me a text. He and Mason are on their way over there so they can get their equipment too.” I can’t help but chuckle over his excitement. These boys became really good friends over the course of the baseball season, and I’m glad. With all Jason had going on with his dad it made for a great distraction. Now football is starting, and they’re excited to be part of a team again.

  “Okay, okay. Let’s go.” I grab my purse and the paper I had to sign in order for him to receive his equipment. This process is no joke. These kids are given a helmet and pads now. They will also need a cup, two mouth guards, and cleats before the first practice starts in two weeks.

  I program the GPS on my phone for the address because I know it’s in Dartmouth, but I don’t know where. The robotic voice tells me we have about a twenty-minute ride. I look in the rearview mirror to back out of the driveway. Jason’s smile catches my eye. He’s texting with his friends. “Are you excited, buddy?”

  “Yeah. DJ says because we’re all the same age and similar weight we should be on the same team.”

  “That’s cool.”

  “Can you turn the radio up, Mom? I like this song.”

  I chuckle. “Sure, bud.”

  This is his new thing. He’s so into music now, always listening to it with his earbuds. If he’s not listening to music, then he’s on a gaming headset with Mason and DJ while they play Xbox Live. I wasn’t sure how I felt about him having Xbox Live at first, but his father bought it for him. I really wish
he would spend some time with his son instead of just giving him gifts. He’s practically buying his son, but I guess it’s better than nothing. This past year has been nothing but us fighting over custody, visitation, and the house. Just when I think we’re going to reach an agreement, he brings up some other stupid thing and delays the process. Melinda is pissed he has to pay child support. She had the nerve to show up to one of our mediation appointments, but the mediator told her to have a seat in the lobby. I know it was probably childish, but I winked at her and walked through the door flipping her off while Brian’s back was to me. It’s bad enough this woman took my husband, now she wants his money too. If she thinks I’m going to budge on child support she’s crazy. He helped make our son and now he’s going to help with the financial burden of raising him.

  I pull up to the building to find we have to park on the street; however, I get lucky. Someone is leaving just as I pass the building, so I quickly pull in and put the car in park. Jason jumps out of the car just as DJ and Stella are walking by. “D,” he shouts.

  “What’s up, bro?” They fist bump and instantly start talking.

  “Hi, Karen.” Stella wraps me in a hug. “How are you holding up?” Stella and I became friends during Jason’s second season of baseball. I was lucky to meet her, Misty, and the rest of the mom squad. They made it easier to deal with my situation.

  “I’m okay. Brian is still being a dick, but it is what it is.” I lower my voice not wanting Jason to hear me speak ill of his father.

  “I’m sorry. I’m sure this can’t be easy.” She gives me a warm smile.

  After Brian left me that night, I laid in bed unable to sleep. The next day I called my friend, Arien, exhausted and an emotional mess. I cried my eyes out with her on the phone for a good hour. “It’s not, but I have a ton of support and you know what? I’m strong. I’m not going to cower in a corner. I can do this.” We follow our boys into the building and wait in the ridiculously long line.

  Misty and Mason walk in right behind us. The boys get amped up all over again. The three of us can’t help but laugh. “You know, Karen, if you ever need me to bring Jason to practice or whatever, just let me know.”