Shattered Souls (To Love and Serve Book 1) Read online

  “Damn you have a beautiful ass.” Grabbing her hips with one hand I reach around and strum her clit with the other while I roll my hips fucking her luscious ass.

  “Harder.” She backs herself up meeting my thrusts.

  “Yes, Lexi.” I grab both her hips so hard she may bruise from my grip as I pound my cock into her ass.

  “Fuck.” She screams out as her body shakes and her muscles tighten around me, milking my cock. I slam into her one last time and empty my seed into her sweet little hole. I slip out from her ass and tell her to lie still while I run off to get a damp cloth to clean her up. When I return she’s still on the bed with her beautiful ass in the air. Swiping the warm cloth over her ass, I clean her up so she can relax. “You’re all set beautiful.” She lowers herself onto the bed. I climb on behind her. “Did I hurt you?”

  “Fuck no. That was awesome.”

  I brush her hair off her shoulder and trail light kisses up to her neck. “I love you so much. Thank you for going with me tonight.”

  She rolls over with a smile on her face. “I love you, too, and we’re a team. There’s no way I would let you go through that alone, just like you wouldn’t let me visit Bailey alone.”

  I press my lips to hers. She opens to me deepening the kiss. I’m glad I cleaned up because it’s the beginning of round two.

  Despite the fact my mother has absolutely no family I decided to do a small service for her at the cemetery. I picked out a nice but inexpensive coffin and a small arrangement of flowers for her, and now it is time for me to say my goodbyes. I thought this was going to be easy, but it’s not. I’ve learned over the last few days that no matter how much I hated her for what she put me through, I clearly still care a great deal for her. I have spent the last few days analyzing and contemplating how I feel, and to be honest, I’m sick to my stomach over this. I’m not sure what bothers me more, the fact that I do still care, or that no one else does. She was a sick woman, and everyone abandoned her instead of rallying around to help her, including me, and that’s something I have to live with for the rest of my life.

  Lexi helped me write a brief obituary to put in the paper so that if any of her friends wanted to show up they could, but I doubt they will. They all gave up on her long before my father died, and the sad truth is that I understand. Her only friends were her druggie buddies, and I’m pretty sure they don’t show up to funeral services. I shake off my thoughts and adjust my tie one last time. Lexi is already dressed and ready to go, but it seems to be taking me forever to get my act together.

  “Keegs, I don’t want to rush you, but if we don’t get a move on we’ll be late.”

  I shrug. “We’ll be the only ones there anyway.”

  “Don’t say that. You never know.” Her eyes are full of sympathy.

  I let out a deep breath and follow her down to the car. Although I hate being driven around I promised Lexi she could drive us to the cemetery where she’s being buried. It’s not far from us, not that I had a choice, she’s being buried in the same section as my father, something he arranged before he died. I guess he didn’t want the burden to fall on me, so he got them each a plot early on. It’s sad that he died at a young age and still knew to plan ahead because of her drug addicted ways. I guess I should feel lucky that she was around as long as she was but it’s hard to think that way when she never even tried. Not to mention my father died trying to protect her. If he hadn’t interfered she may have been the one to die all those years ago, and he could still be with me, but Dr. Miranda says I can’t dwell on what could have been. I can only live with what is actually happening.

  Lexi pulls up to the grave, and to my surprise there are a few people there. The first people I notice are Julian and his grandmother, and it instantly chokes me up. I’m shaking as I climb out of the car. Lexi takes my hand and we walk over together, but Julian meets me halfway. “Hey, kid, thanks for being here.”

  “You were there for me when my mom died, it’s the least I can do.” He’s about as torn up as I am.

  I pull him in for a hug. “It means a lot.” I slap him on the back.

  Next Lexi’s parents approach me, her mom wraps me in a huge hug. “We are so sorry, Keegan.”

  The tears begin to fall yet again. “Thank you both so much for being here.”

  I hold my hand out to shake her father’s hand, but he pulls me into a hug. “We wanted to be here for you the way you’ve been there for our Lexi.”

  “Thanks.” We all walk the rest of the way to the site, where we all stand quietly so the priest who has been patiently waiting can get started. He says a few brief words about healing, a quick prayer, and like that the service is over. It’s not until then that I notice, Chloe, Lucas, Harper, and Knox standing off to the side. They all come over to pay their respects to me, and when I introduce them to Lexi’s parents as well as Julian and Amelia.

  “You knew they were coming, didn’t you?” I ask Lexi, referring to our friends, while trying to talk over the lump in my throat.

  She nods. “We all care about you and want to be there for you.”

  “You are an amazing woman, and I’m so lucky to have found you.”

  “I think we were lucky to find each other.” She presses up on her toes to give me a brief kiss. “Come, we have lunch plans with our family.” She points over her shoulder to our friends.

  “Will you give me a minute alone?”

  “Of course. I’ll be over by the car.” She squeezes my hand and walks off with our friends.

  Placing one hand on her coffin I pull a single rose from my coat pocket with the other and lay it across the top. “Life was never a bed of roses while I was living with you, but I understand now just how sick you were. You no longer have to suffer, and you’re no longer ill, so do me a favor, go apologize to Dad and make up for all the time you lost with him. He always loved you, and tried so hard to make you better.” I close my eyes and exhale a slow breath, trying to maintain my composure. “I need both of you to watch over us and keep us safe so that we can live the long healthy life you and Dad should have had. I love you, Mom.” I quickly wipe away my tears and get my emotions in check. My family is waiting and I need to move on.

  A small smile plays at my lips as I watch them all fooling around together while they wait for me. Knox is the first to notice me coming. “Ready, man?” He slaps me on the back. For a rugged looking tattooed dude he’s pretty soft.

  I chuckle. “Yeah, let’s get out of here.” I climb into the passenger's seat of Lexi’s car, and as I do I spot the workers lowering my mom into the ground to her final resting place. One more tear runs down my cheek and I promise myself it will be the last one I shed for her. I forgave her and I took care of her, now it’s time to take care of my family.

  Keegan has handled his mother’s death incredibly well and I’m so proud of him. The morning after he found out he let go a bit and admitted he was upset he couldn’t save her. He truly hoped walking away would wake her up and push her to get the help she needed, but it made her worse. He was feeling bad that he didn’t go back to try to save her. I held him, let him cry, and together, as with the other obstacles we’ve faced, we are getting past it.

  We’re now on our way to lunch with our new family. The car ride is quiet, but I really hope after this is all said and done he will be able to move on. I’m a bit nervous that this is a front, but only time will tell. I have a feeling this was the final step in his healing process, and he will be able to carry on with his life without regrets.

  We pull up to this nice restaurant not far from the cemetery. I spot Knox walking in ahead of us. He demanded that he take care of making reservations for us. The guy is absolutely amazing, and I’m so happy for Harper, she has caught herself a total softy in a rough tough shell. He sports dark jeans, and a long sleeve black button down shirt with the sleeves folded to his forearms revealing his tattoo sleeves, and his hair is pulled back into a neat ponytail showing off the huge holes in his ears. You can tell
from looking at the guy he’s not one to mess with, so naturally I let him take care of the reservations.

  “What are you smiling at?” Keegan questions as I park.

  “How funny Knox is. He looks so…scary I guess you could say, but in reality he is such a sweet guy. He took care of setting up the dinner reservations for today. I tried to tell him I could do it but he insisted that we had enough to take care of.”

  “I’ll be sure to thank him later.” I look out the window. “And thank you, this hasn’t been easy for me, not like I thought it would but I’m good now.”

  I give him a warm smile. “You’re a strong guy. I had no doubt you would make it past this.”

  “Let’s go see our friends.”

  We walk into the restaurant hand-in-hand to find our friends already seated and waiting for us. There are glasses of water on the table as well as menus.

  “Hey there they are,” Chloe calls out.

  I take one of the two empty seats left at the table, but Keegan stays standing. “I want to be able to move on from this day, but first I need to thank you all for being there for me today. My mother wasn’t much of a mother to me growing up, but today, for my own sanity I forgave her, and now I need to move forward with my new family. Knox, thanks for setting this up, man.”

  “You got it.” Knox holds his tattooed fist up, and Keegan bumps it and then takes a seat.

  We all quickly decide what we’re going to eat, and as soon as our orders are placed Lucas stands up. He asked me if it would be okay to say something at dinner and, of course, I agree. “Keegan, I’m sorry for your loss, brother.”

  We all chuckle at the way he says ‘brother’. Coming from Knox it sounds perfectly normal, coming from Lucas not so much, but we’ve got his back and he knows it.

  “Thanks.” Keegan gives him an awkward fist bump causing everyone to chuckle a bit harder.

  “As they say, ‘out with the old and in with the new.’” And the nerdy Lucas is back. He holds up his water glass. “Knowing that Keegan would want to move on, I was hoping to end this day on a positive note. With that said Chloe and I would like to announce that we’re getting married.”

  My eyes go wide with excitement. “No way!”

  Chloe holds her hand out to show a stunning white gold band with a beautiful round cut stone. It’s gorgeous, and perfect for Chloe.

  Julian stands up next. “Since we’re sharing good news. I’ve officially gotten my driver’s license, thanks to Keegan, and have joined the Army. I ship out to boot camp as soon as I graduate.” Amelia beams at her grandson with pride.

  “Yes.” Keegan says, exaggerating the word. He holds out his fist and they do their signature explosion as they bump. “Dude, I’m so proud of you.”

  “Thanks, Keegan. I’m going to be an MP so I can be a kick ass cop like you some day.”

  Keegan’s eyes instantly well. He walks over and wraps Julian in a hug. They mumble something to each other that no one else can hear. When they break apart they are both wiping away tears.

  “Hey, this is supposed to be happy hour,” Harper announces.

  “It is.” Keegan smiles and takes his seat as our food is delivered.

  We’re all quietly eating our lunch, only stopping to discuss how good the food is. When we finish Knox tries to pick up the check. I argue with him, but he tells the waitress the hostess has his credit card for payment. “I knew you would argue so I took care of it before you could even attempt pay the bill.”

  I shake my head. “Thanks.”

  “You got it.” Knox rubs his hands together. “Now, it’s early, who’s up for a round of pool?”

  We all start to laugh. “I’m down.” Keegan looks at me with a questioning look.

  “Sounds good to me.”

  We say our farewell to Julian and Amelia, so he can get home to study for some tests he has coming up, and the rest of us agree to change and meet at the pool hall in an hour and a half. I think it’s the perfect way to wrap our emotional day.

  Today is a very important day in Julian’s life, it’s the day he swears into the Army. We are so proud of how far he’s come, and how hard he’s worked to prepare for this moment. He has spent the last few months working on learning the Army way with Lexi. He’s been going on runs, doing push-ups, sit ups, and any other exercises Lexi has told him to work on in preparation of boot camp.

  “Lexi, are you ready to go? We need to leave soon.”

  “Yeah, I’ll be ready in a minute.” We told Amelia and Julian we would pick them up on our way over to MEPS. His grandmother doesn’t live far from us, and it’s pretty much on the way.

  Lexi walks out wearing a pair of nice khaki capris and an olive green shirt. You can totally guess she’s former Army. “I’m ready.”

  When we get to Julian’s house there is little parking so Lexi calls him to let them know we’re here. They come out two minutes later with Amelia holding Julian’s arm. He’s a good kid and I’m so glad I took the time to help him. He’s really going to make something of his life.

  I get out of the car and open the back door for Amelia. “Are you ready?” I ask Julian once she’s inside.

  “Yeah, as ready as I’ll ever be.”

  “You’re getting huge, kid.” I pat him on the shoulder.

  “That’s my grandmother’s cooking. She insists that I eat as healthy as possible while I’m working out, so I’ve put on a few pounds, luckily it’s in mass and not fat.” He smiles at his grandmother who rolls down the window.

  “I told him, that I did research online and it said he needed lots of protein while working out.” We all get a chuckle out of Amelia. She’s this cute little old lady with a raspy voice, and to hear her talk about doing research online like it’s an everyday occurrence is pretty funny.

  “Grandma, you are right, protein is good, but you can’t believe everything you read online,” Julian scolds, but Amelia’s not hearing it. She dismisses him with a wave of her hand and begins talking to Lexi.

  “Let’s roll.”

  When Julian is settled in the back with his grandmother he says, “Thank you both for taking us over for my ceremony.”

  “It’s not a problem, kid.” Amelia told us she doesn’t like to drive too much anymore, but really, it’s an honor for us to watch him be sworn in. We’ve kind of adopted him in our own way. Julian and I talk over the phone or text several times a week about school, military prep, or life in general. There’s no way we’d want to miss this. We were there for his high school graduation as well. We even threw him a little party to celebrate. All our friends have welcomed him and Amelia openly.

  It’s not a long drive, but the morning commute can be a bitch, as can parking. We pull up to the Boston MEPS center where all our local troops go to be sworn in and we are lucky enough to find a spot a short walk up the street.

  “What is MEPS?” Amelia asks as we climb out of the car.

  “It stands for Military Entrance Processing Station. This is where Julian came with his recruiter to ensure he is fit to serve and now he will be sworn in.” She nods looking at the huge building. “I came through this same building before I went off to boot camp and my schooling.”

  When we get inside, Julian spots his recruiter who instantly walks him off to begin the process for the day. We will be here for a little while since they will check him over one last time. “Don’t worry, Amelia, they are just making sure he still makes height and weight. Then they’ll meet with him to go over a few things. Then he’ll be brought into the room where we’ll be waiting for him to swear in. Once the process is done, he’ll be given a little time to say goodbye to us, and then we’ll go, and so will he.”

  The poor woman looks so nervous. I feel for her. Julian is the only family she has left, and she’s about to say goodbye to him without being able to speak to him for a few weeks.

  She takes the seat Lexi offers her. “Is it true he won’t be able to call home?”

  “They will probably allow him a qui
ck call home when he first arrives at reception to let you know he’s arrived safely, but it’s going to depend on what time he gets there. You may not hear until tomorrow. After that, he probably won’t call home for a few weeks. He’ll go through the reception station to collect his uniforms and any gear he needs. Then he’ll get a haircut, have a chance to pick up any hygiene items he will need, and then he’ll finally be sent off to his unit where he will meet his drill sergeant. The first few weeks are the toughest, but once he passes red phase and moves to white phase things will get a bit easier for him, and he will have a chance to call home.”

  Amelia nods, taking this all in. “Why is he allowed to bring his cell phone?”

  “Well in my day we weren’t allowed to do that, but now they lock them up and issue them out for phone call time. That way they can video chat or call home without having to wait in line for pay phones. That’s why it was important for him to write his name in permanent marker on the phone. That tells the drill sergeant it’s his.”

  “Thank you for getting him a prepaid cell phone. I was really worried about him taking his with him and it getting stolen. At least if something happens to this one it’s not his expensive one that we will have to pay hundreds to replace.”

  “It’s our pleasure. We’re really proud of him and want to help in any way we can,” I assure her.

  “We also understand it can’t be easy raising a teenage grandchild on your own.” Lexi gives her shoulder a tight squeeze.

  “It’s certainly not something I ever planned on doing,” she says with a chuckle.

  This woman is so amazingly sweet. We pass the remainder of the time swapping phone numbers and let her know that if she needs anything or Julian reaches out to her to let us know, and we make promise to do the same. The room we’re waiting in is starting to fill up with family members waiting like us for the, swear in process to begin. The problem is there are a lot of soldiers that swear in at one time, and they have to process them all through before they even get to this point. The only upside is they all have flights to catch shortly so we know we won’t be here too much longer.